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WHO’S DOIN’ WHO IN ART SCHOOL
MIA played by KEIKO
Mia is a daydreamer, but these aren’t your average dreams; she’s got the ability to achieve climax every time she catches a wink, and sometimes even when she’s awake. Is she really getting into car accidents in her dreams? Is she waking up bruised? You would think that was some Freddy Krueger shit, if she wasn’t waking up wet and completely satisfied. She’s an art student, who’s bored with the posers and just needs the right emo slacker to get her off once and for all. Is that true, or can one guy ever be enough to make her settle down? Mia’s favorite song is “Warm Leatherette,” by the Normal.
KEIKO on MIA
“I’m portraying Mia, a disillusioned, antisocial art student who is trying to find validation through sex. She’s seeking the meaning of life through really good fucking.”
 CRICKET played by KATJA KASSIN
Make no mistake; Cricket is a hardcore activist, actively seeking an anal pounding anywhere and everywhere. A foreign exchange student committed to toppling our crass capitalism, she’s a performance artist, who, when not getting off on saving the stuffed animals (like that moose on your Masonic uncle’s wall), is all to eager to “play” teacher’s pet. Her Svengali-like professor’s got her on her knees ready to learn, but this goth girl listens to Einstürzende Neubauten, so he’s got no fucking clue who he’s dealing with. Sure she’ll let him go on with it, but who’s really in control? She’s fearless, taking some Black Forest sized lumber while sucking on an antler. A fucking antler? Eon, are you even allowed to show that shit? “She had the guts to do it kids, so I gotta’ show it.” Yes folks, in perhaps the very first antler- sucking scene, Cricket seeks to shock. If not for her fresh Polaroid’s, Keiko would think that she was making shit up again, but is she?
KATJA on playing CRICKET
“It’s a cool role. I like my job because I can just do stuff that I would never do normally. I like to feel nasty, and I don’t know why. I like that you can amaze the person who your with and also the people who later watch the movie. Sometimes I want to do things not just because I want to do them, but also because people will think it’s nasty, and I like to shock. Like an artist would take a crazy photograph, I like to be crazy for the camera!”
 ECHO played by LILI ANNE
Echo is literally the stuff dreams are made of, the kind you can lick off your fingers in the morning. Is she one of Mia’s classmates or a girl who she met out at the club one night? Who cares, all we know is that this adorable girl in that little skirt and colored bracelets has a pussy that tastes better than a Ring Pop. Climaxing in the crash of a German automobile, this drum and bass girl has a thing for Dieselboy.
LILI ANNE on playing ECHO
“For most shoots, you get in there and lick some box, suck some cock, fuck, then there’s the pop, and end of scene. This shoot has been so different, because there’s a lot of in depth things. These aren’t normal porn outfits; I wear my own skirt and my own shoes. I’m comfortable with what I’m wearing, and the whole thing has more flair. I only wish girls have as much fun watching and playing together as Keiko and I did filming it.”
 STRANGE GIRL played by BROOKLYN HOLIDAY
Strange Girl is the kind of chick we’d call an Internet ho. Fill her head with enough lies about your badass band, and if your hair is cool enough, she’ll be your next conquest. But be careful, she is a very, very, Strange Girl. If you can’t handle her, she’ll move on to the next profile on Friendster or MySpace, quicker than you can say “Block User.” Put her in ropes, and treat her like the slut that she is, and she’ll be your skeeza fa life. Strange Girl is an Electroclash chick, and she loves Peaches. Why? Cuz she’s the “kinda bitch you can fuck wit!”
BROOKLYN on playing STRANGE GIRL
“I’ve been watching porn forever. It started with magazines and I became infatuated with pin-up stuff. I’m obsessed with sex, and I love this project so much because this movie gives you an idea of how I’d really have sex. I’m definitely not your typical blond hair, fake boob girl; I have a lot more personality. I’ve got a look that’s uncommon in the industry and I’m hoping to bring more of that out into the scene.”
 TRIXIE played by FELIX VICIOUS
Trixie is a hardcore junglist, which means that she eats, sleeps, and fucks to drum and bass music. She’ll give you head for some Drumz (clothes brand) shwag, and she’ll fuck you silly for some dub plates (brand new and exclusive traxs). Every once in a while her and Keiko get it on just to take the edge off, but she remains committed to the dick. Don’t you ever accuse her of dancing like that Dirty Vegas girl in the Mitsubishi commercial because you’ll get no play that way, boys. Drop the new Alder and Karl Cutta trax, however, and her panties will drop to the floor!
FELIX on playing TRIXIE
“She’s not that different than just being myself, because in the film I’m dancing, hanging out with friends, and having sex. Only in my personal life, I love pussy games: I’ve got the pussy muscles that can tighten up and twist, and rock your world! But I only do that with my real boyfriend.” Don’t worry; she gave us a little too!
JOHNNY played by JAMES DEEN
For the most part, Johnny’s lived his life like a total tool. He’s skinny, nerdy, and likes weird music. Wait, you mean, that shit is cool now? Oh, then Johnny’s a total emo hunk! He listens to Death Cab For Cutie, wears striped LeTigre shirts, and goes to art school where he meets the girl of his dreams before you can accuse him of being a complete art-fag. If only he didn’t blow all of his trust-fund money on mind-altering substances, perhaps he could actually produce some art. But really, what’s the fucking point?
JAMES DEEN on playing Johnny
“Johnny looks like your average emo boy, and that’s what I am, except my cock isn’t exactly average. It’s cool that I don’t have to pretend to be this macho stud, because not only don’t I think I’d pull it off, but I think that girls are sick of those corny guys. Johnny is a new type of male porn star, for sure!”
AND THEN THERE’S
Q played by DOMINIC
Q is a bullshit artist. He’s poser punk, who makes shit up to screw naïve chicks. Sure he’s got some ideas in his head, but like most art students he’s too lazy and would much rather scam girls on the Internet. Little does he know that the joke would be on him, because Strange Girl causes strange things to happen — like out of body experiences. No shit. One second Q thinks he’s got a girl tied up, ready to be spanked fucked, and covered with jizz, and the next thing he knows, he looks down and doesn’t even recognize his own dick. In a flash, Strange Girl turned him into Talon, a much more reliable lay. Weird?
DOMINIC on playing Q
The fact is there simply wasn’t a budget for the special effects required to transform Q’s dick into Talon’s dick, so we admit, that is really Talon playing out this mad doppelganger effect. The real real truth is that Dominic isn’t a fake punk at all. He’s so OG that he refused to conform to the powers that be and pay for the STD portion of the HIV test. It was either that, or they lost the results. Of course he blames it on the system, and makes it into a political issue. “I can’t stand [the MAN, or at least the company that does testing]!” All they do is fuck people over and they’re trying to control the whole industry.”
Of course, Dominic still wanted his day rate, despite the fact that he couldn’t fuck Brooklyn as scheduled. It doesn’t matter if he was friends with Black Flag back in the day, or sucked Jello Biafra’s dick, nobody out-punks Eon McKai on his own set. By law Dominic couldn’t fuck, and he probably figured that either Eon and Brooklyn would overlook the test, or he’d still get paid for a scene without dropping a load. Uh uh, Eon made Dominic jerk off in the dunce corner, having him fulfill his contractual obligation, maintaining safety guidelines, while depriving him of Brooklyn’s sweet slice. Dom took a gamble and he lost. And when Eon made him use his sperm to moose (now there isn’t a stuffed moose, just some a little cum instead of hair gel) up his Mohawk, Eon sent the message that he may be new to the business but he’ll never get played.
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